Nicola’s Story

“Grandma, are you dying?” The question that changed Nicola’s life forever

For most of her adult life, Nicola Wilkinson, 58, from Bedlington, smoked. She worked as a healthcare assistant for 28 years, caring for patients while battling an addiction that had become woven into every part of her own daily life.

Today, Nicola is smokefree, her COPD is well controlled, she’s hiking in the Lake District and helping other people quit smoking through her role as a Tobacco Dependency Advisor with Northumbria Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust.

But her journey to becoming smokefree wasn’t straightforward, and it took one devastating question from her seven-year-old grandson to finally make her stop and think.

“I smoked for decades and it became part of everything I did,” Nicola recalls. “After meals, after a bath, when I had a break at work – smoking was always there. Looking back now, I realise just how much of my life revolved around cigarettes.”

Years of smoking eventually caught up with her. Following repeated chest infections, Nicola found herself trapped in a cycle of antibiotics and steroids while waiting months for answers.

Because of the post-Covid backlog she waited seven months for a diagnosis, a period during which her health continued to deteriorate.

“I was constantly ill and coughing all the time,” she says. “The coughing was so bad that I actually slipped a disc in my back. I struggled with stairs and even walking around the house was becoming difficult.”

When she eventually underwent a breathing test, the result came as a huge shock.

“The nurse looked at me and said, ‘You have COPD.’ I remember feeling devastated. All I could think was that my life was over. I worried I was going to need oxygen and support to breathe.

“Before my diagnosis I’d said to a friend, ‘I’d hate to die from a breathing problem.’ Then suddenly that’s exactly what I was facing.”

COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) is a serious smoking-related lung condition that makes it harder to breathe and can progressively worsen over time.

Yet despite receiving the diagnosis, Nicola found herself continuing to smoke.

“I think that’s something people find difficult to understand,” she says. “Smoking is an addiction. Even after I was diagnosed with a smoking-related disease, I continued to smoke. I knew COPD gradually progresses but, in my mind, I thought I still had time. That’s what addiction does. It’s not as simple as being told to stop.”

Everything changed one day when her grandson Travis noticed just how much she was coughing.

“He was seven years old and he looked at me and said, ‘Grandma, are you dying?’

“I couldn’t believe he’d asked me that. He knew something wasn’t right. He could hear me coughing and he was worried about me. He didn’t want me to die. The memory still brings tears to my eyes.”

“That really upset me. That was my moment. I thought, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ It didn’t matter how difficult quitting felt, I needed to stop smoking for him and for me. Sometimes it takes a shock like that to make you realise what’s at stake.”

“I’d been telling myself I had plenty of time, but when your grandson is standing in front of you asking if you’re dying, suddenly everything becomes crystal clear.

“Things had to change and they had to change now.”

Determined to quit, Nicola reached out for help from the Northumberland Stop Smoking Service.

“The support was brilliant,” she says. “I used nicotine patches and a vape. The vape helped me at the times when I would normally have had a cigarette. Having that support made a huge difference because I wasn’t trying to do it on my own.”

Nicola is keen to stress that nobody should underestimate the value of professional stop smoking support.

“People often think it’s just about willpower, but local stop smoking services are there because stopping smoking is hard.

“The support, advice and treatment they provide can dramatically improve your chances of quitting successfully.”

Within days of quitting, Nicola began noticing changes.

“I started to taste food properly again after just a couple of days. Over time my skin looked healthier too. Every time I thought about having a cigarette, I remembered what Travis had said and it kept me going.”

The improvements continued as the months passed.

“My clothes don’t smell of smoke anymore. I don’t have that constant yearning for a cigarette. I used to build my whole day around smoking. Now I don’t even think about it.”

One of the biggest transformations came thanks to her daughter, Laura.

“Laura is my knight in shining armour,” Nicola laughs. “She told me straight – ‘Mum, you’ve put a little weight on, we need to get moving.’ She encouraged me to start exercising and introduced me to hiking in the Lake District. She is always supporting me and pushing me to become the best version of myself.”

The woman who had once struggled with stairs was soon tackling hills and mountains.

“I never thought I’d be able to do that. When you’re breathless and living with COPD, climbing a mountain feels impossible. But I remember reaching the summit, looking out at the waterfalls and the views, and feeling absolutely over the moon.

“That sense of achievement was incredible. To stand there knowing where I’d been and what I’d overcome was amazing.”

 

Today, Nicola regularly walks with her husband, swims again and aims for up to 18,000 steps a day. Her COPD is well controlled and she’s enjoying a level of fitness she once thought she’d lost forever.

In September 2024, Nicola began a new chapter when she joined Northumbria Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust’s Tobacco Dependency Treatment Team, helping other people who are facing the same challenges she once faced herself.

“What I have lived through helps me connect with people,” she says. “I can honestly tell them, ‘I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there.’ I understand the fear, the addiction and how difficult quitting can feel.”

Her work has had a profound impact on some of the people she supports.

“One gentleman told me I was his guardian angel,” Nicola says. “He was going through an incredibly difficult time and needed someone to talk to.

“We supported him with nicotine replacement therapy while he was in hospital, discussed a referral to his local stop smoking service and continued to provide follow-up telephone support after he returned home.

“That’s what our team does. We support people throughout their hospital stay, help them access the right support when they’re discharged and give them the best possible chance of staying smokefree once they’re back home.

“Hearing what that support meant to him was unbelievable.

“That’s why I love this job. Even months later, people remember the conversations we’ve had. Sometimes just talking to somebody who understands can make all the difference.”

Looking back, Nicola wishes she had quit years earlier. But she’s proud of what she has achieved and wants others to know that it’s never too late.

“My advice is simple: don’t give up on yourself. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how long you’ve smoked. You will notice benefits very quickly and you’ll never regret quitting.

“And if you’ve tried before and it didn’t work, try again. Every quit attempt teaches you something. It’s a stepping stone, not a failure. Don’t stop trying to quit smoking. It’s one of the best things you’ll ever do for yourself and the people who love you.

“I look at my life now and I think about my three grown-up children Steven, Leanne and Laura, and my three wonderful grandchildren Travis, Henry and George. I think about the mountains I’ve climbed and the job I love.

“My family means everything to me and being smokefree has given me the chance to enjoy more time with them and make memories together.

“If I can do it after decades of smoking and a COPD diagnosis, anyone can.”